How to Employ and Enjoy the Natural Law of Shared Favors. Everyone WINS – Yea!

How to Employ and Enjoy the Natural Law of Shared Favors – Chapter 21 from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha – How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred and rewarded.

“Nothing will work, unless you do.”  – Maya Angelou, Poet

Congratulations! People view you as an expert.

Hallelujah!  You know correct is happening.  You know, because people are picking up their phone, dialing your number, and asking you for expert answers and solutions to their burning questions and unsolved problems.

Questions Like:

What’s the deal with mortgage rates?  Should I refinance?

We’re sweatin’ like swine over here.  I need digits for an A/C dude, not some ex-convict; I need someone who knows what they’re doin’.  Someone who will drop whatever they’re workin’ on and haul ass over here to fix this broken piece of crap.

I’m getting hosed.  These bloodsuckers can’t get away with this.  I want to protest my property tax and slap-the-stupid out of city hall.  How do I do that?

A “For Sale” sign just went up down the street.  Can you tell me what they’re asking?

And other run-of-the-mill and quirky kinds of questions.  Questions that only a plugged-in, kick-ass real estate agent would know the answer to.  Which is why they call you.

Hallelujahs are in order.  All your sweaty Top of Mind Awareness work is paying off.  You’re not chasing, stalking, or selling anybody. People are calling you direct.  Beautiful.

What you do with this phone call is a turning point for you.  Will your response be mundane or mighty? Here’s what I mean.

The Mundane Exchange 

You’re sitting at your computer, busy fretting about your red river of advertising expenses.  You’re hoping your ads pay off, someday, somehow.   You murmur a silent prayer, Please, dear Lord, compel my expensive, limp ads to make my phone ring.

Gulp.  Your phone rings.  Wow.  You’re kinda creeped out, but excited.  A past client is calling to ask you those random kind of questions we talked about earlier.  You listen lazy, thinking to yourself, Damn, this isn’t the ad call I prayed for, these people won’t move for years.  This is a freaking interruption. 

You answer their question in a rush. They thank you. You thank them for calling.


You return to your fretting and the business of bleeding out, as you continue to chase complete strangers.


What just happened?  Nothing much.  And that’s the point.  The possibility for your success didn’t budge.  If that’s how you answer, you might as well not be in the business.  You’re blowing off extraordinary opportunities.

So, let’s imagine something mighty instead.

A More Mighty Exchange

Your phone rings.  It’s Jean, a past client.  Calling to ask a question.  You smile, straighten, and focus. 

Jean asks a question.  You listen loudly and ask follow-up-with-clarity questions. Before answering, you reinforce Jean’s wise decision to call YOU.  Everyone loves to be appreciated, so you give Jean a big verbal hug.  You say something like, “Thanks for calling, Jean. I know you could have called any number of other real estate agents — I appreciate you calling on me.”  Jean feels significant, and appreciated.  Cool!

You answer Jean’s question.  You chitchat.  You’re attentive and waiting for “it.”  You know “it’s” coming.

Predictably, “It” happens. Jean concludes with “Thank you.” At this precise moment you conjure up the win-win-win called The Natural Law of Shared Favors.  This natural law states that when one good person does another good person a favor, the good person receiving the favor wants to return the favor.  Isn’t this true with you?

If I were (and I usually do) keeping The Natural Law of Shared Favors in mind, here’s an example of what my conversation with Jean would sound like after we’ve chit-chatted, I’ve answered her question(s) and she concludes our conversation with (“it”): Thank you.

Jean: Thank you, Ken, I appreciate it.

Me:  You’re welcome, call me any time; I appreciate you thinking of me.  You know, Jean, before I let you go, I was wondering if you might do me favor?

Jean:  Sure.

Me:  Well, let me ask you a question. If one of your neighbors or a friend from work asked you for a real estate agent recommendation, would you be comfortable sharing my name?  That would be so appreciated.

Jean:  Of course, I’d be happy to.

MeThanks so much; that means a lot to me. I promise, when you refer me to someone, I’ll treat them like family and take great care of them.  Who’s the next person in your neighborhood who’s gonna be making a move?

It’s that simple.  Your words may be different, our results the same.  We were asked a favor, we delivered a favor, and we provided an opportunity for a return favor.

Can you see how during the course of a year, by moving from the mundane to the mighty, you could uncover hidden opportunities?  This doesn’t require any extra work, or money.  All you have to do is rearrange words when you help people and answer questions.

Remember to amplify the remarkable you.  Mail a handwritten note with two of your business cards. Do it immediately. Please.

Wanna weave even more ridiculous and mighty magic?  Of course you do.  Why not, right?  We’re on a roll, man!

To Supersize Your Win-Win-Win and Mighty Magic, Do This

You know the service provider person you just referred — the roofer, the painter, the decorator, the accountant — they appreciate referrals as much as you do.  It’s the lifeblood of their business too.  Here’s what supersizing success looks and reads like.

After I hang up from talking with Jean, I call them (the service provider I recommended to Jean).  I share that I’ve just got off the phone from referring them to Jean Wycroft and they should expect a call from her.  I impress upon them how important Jean is to me and that I trust they will do a magnificent job for her.  I instruct them not to contact Jean directly, but to expect her call. I tell them that I want to know how the conversation went and what happened, and to call me after they hear from her.  I wish them luck in winning the business.         Then I wait for “it.”  When I hear them say, “Thank you,”  I ask for a return favor.

Them:  Thanks for the referral, Ken.

Me:  You’re welcome — I know you’ll do a great job. It’s my pleasure.  Hey, can I ask you a quick question?  It’s sort of semi-personal.

Them:  Ummm, sure.  What is it?

Me:  Well, John, in your day-to-day business you’re in contact with a lot of people.  I know people trust your work and your opinion. I was wondering, if someone asked you for the name of a trustworthy real estate agent, whose name would you share?

I’ve asked a direct, on purpose, I’m not pussy-footing around question.  I quietly wait for their answer.  It might be natural to feel a little pushy asking this question; it sort of puts this person on the spot.  Yeah, it sort of does, but in this case, I’m referring this person profitable business opportunities, so I’m being bold about asking for return referrals.  Bashful real estate agents starve, bold real estate agents thrive.

Their answer can go two ways.

Way One

Them:  Well Ken, you know my wife’s brother’s uncle’s second cousin is our family real estate agent.  My wife would kill me if I didn’t recommend her.  I hope you understand?

Me:  No worries at all.  I know we all appreciate loyalty, so I respect that.  If you or anyone else ever needs a second opinion, or I can help with anything, I’d be happy to do it.  Okay then, let me know when you hear from Jean, and how it went.

In this case, I don’t resist or insist. I listen and courteously position myself for future referrals should anything go wrong or their distant relative exits the business.

 Way Two

Them:  Well, Ken, I’d recommend you of course.

Me: Thanks so much; that means a lot to me. I promise, when you refer me to someone, I’ll treat them like family and take great care of them.  Who’s the next person you know who is making a move?

As always, when I’m sharing my directionally correct dialogues, your words may be different but our winning results will be the same.  In this case, like many of the others, we aren’t chasing strangers, we aren’t annoying friends, we aren’t buying ads or stalking people, we’re taking an everyday situation and instead of mundaneing our way through the motions, we’re attentive, engaging, and speaking our way to success.

Oh, and don’t forget to mail Jean and John a handwritten note, inserting two business cards.


Cheers and thanks for reading.  If you’re interested in buying the book, CLICK HERE and you’ll be whisked to the book page.  It’s available in Kindle/eBook and print format.