Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha – How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred and rewarded.

Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha on Amazon.com

Click HERE to order yours today.

Wishing you wild success and and all the Ah Ha best in the New Year. Ken – 832-797-1779


From the Back Cover

This Book Is for YOU If You Relate to One or More of These Groups. Lifelong Learners are always stretching, growing, and searching for interesting ways to renew and enhance their value. The strategies in this book will contribute to your ongoing curiosity and desire to excel mentally, creatively, and professionally.

Aspirationals like to soak up fresh information, engage in new experiences, and glide forward towards mastery. In this book I’m offering you some new ways of thinking and acting that will help catapult you to higher, more tangibly rewarding levels of success.

Temporary Strugglers feel frustrated and stuck? You’re determined to succeed, but no matter how hard you work, it seems your sincere efforts lead to dead-end rejection and stuck-going-nowhere stress. What I want to assure you is this: It’s not your fault!! More importantly, there’s nothing wrong with you. The problem is that you’ve been mistaught, or you’ve on-your-own stumbled into the soul-sucking quicksand of doing the wrong things with the wrong people at the wrong time. In this book I share how you can immediately begin to enjoy the personal rewards of respect, trust, sweet success, and an income equal to your goals.

Here’s The Challenge . . .
As real estate markets turn hot and positive, competition sizzles and consumer expectations jump upward. Old school selfish-selling styles, along with chasing strangers, spamming, badgering friends and other unattractive and unproductive behaviors is causing real estate agents across the country to struggle for relevance, self-respect and success.
Here’s The Solution . . .
Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha shines a flood light on how to create modern success and self-respect by focusing on others; how to listen, share, communicate and serve real people in the real world — a place where selfish sales strategies, arrogance and insensitivity are shunned.The book leads readers through the three stages of Social Savvy Success.  In Stage One the reader discovers the philosophical foundations for becoming more visible, choosable, and referable.  In short, how to attract, instead of chase.
In Chapters One to Eight the reader learns precisely what business they are really in; The Two True Secrets to Success; the high-impact dynamics of Top of Mind Awareness and how to earn True Blue Trust.But it’s not enough just to know what to do.  Most real estate agents fail to get where they’re trying to go because they get in their our own way.  Stage Two of the book acknowledges and addresses the self-imposed emotional and mental obstacles that stop real estate agents from moving forward.
Chapters Nine through Thirteen cover how to face and consciously-conquer subconscious fears; slay self-doubt; why it’s wise to use psychographics to connect with their tribes, networks, and niches; what The Golden Rule 2.0 is all about, and why they can’t win without it.  Of course no modern book would be complete without a chapter on how to ride the social media wave; enhance character-confirmation: and become discoverable, findable and sharable (aka, how to become omnipresent).
Once the reader has learned what behaviors and actions work and how to get out of their own way, it’s time to apply some practical, simple-to-follow ideas that will help them attract, discover, and create new opportunities.  Stage Three (Chapters Fourteen to Twenty-Three) shares forty instantly implementable action events that put everything the reader has learned into play – becoming trusted, choosable, referable – and rewarded.
Ready to get STARTED?   Get the book for FREE and away we GO, GO, GO.
Thanks and Happy New Year:-)

It’s possible to “earn” perpetual referrals. Key word = “earn”. Here’s how.

How to Dipping Bird Your Way to Perpetual Referrals. Chapter Twenty Two from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha – How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred and rewarded.

“They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”  ~ Andy Warhol

The Dipping Bird

You’ve seen a Dipping Bird, haven’t you?  Some wonder how it works.  It appears to be a perpetual motion machine.

To set the Dipping Bird in motion, you place the bird next to a glass of water.  Gently push the bird’s head forward so that it barely touches the water, then let go.  Its head will then rise and dip perpetually.  Or so it seems.

How does this happen?  There are no batteries or power sources, yet the bird continues to dip and rise, dip and rise.  For hours.  It’s remarkable and people think it’s a magic trick.  But it’s not.

The Dipping Bird is a smart combination of heat vaporization, torque, center of mass physics, capillary action, and combined gases chemistry.  What appears to be perpetual motion is, in reality, a simple combination of science (the invisible: natural laws and physics), and clever art (the visible:  packaging and presentation).

If you want to, you can use a similar proven formula to generate perpetual referral recommendations. But instead of physics, your ingredients are an understanding of human behavior, timing, conversation, and follow-up.  Just like the little Dipping Bird drinks and rises, drinks and rises, if you put what you learn in this chapter into action, every time you take a new listing, or begin to work with buyer clients, you’ll generate one or two new referrals before the transaction closes.  Imagine the positive impact on your success if every time you worked with a qualified buyer or seller, you earned a new qualified buyer or seller referral.

First let’s take a look at how most agents commonly behave; then we’ll dive into how to Dipping Bird perpetual referrals.

Here’s What Most Agents Are Doing Wrong Now

They take a new listing or begin working with a homebuyer.  They work super hard, keep their promises, and the listing sells or the buyer buys.

During the escrow period, as per usual, there are a few unexpected hiccups, but diligence prevails and everything goes well.  The closing takes place on schedule. Everyone’s happy. Yea!

Generally, if it happens at all, it happens after closing.  The average and ordinary agent commonly asks for a referral recommendation after the closing.

The Problem with This Strategy Is . . .

During the transaction, buyers and sellers are all a-twitter about real estate.  They’re swapping real estate experiences, asking and answering questions, and sharing their stories with everyone they talk to.  During the transaction they’re hyper-aware of friends who are also thinking of making a move.

By waiting to timidly ask for referral recommendation until after the transaction closes, the agent is missing out on hearing about any juicy opportunities their clients might share with them during the transaction.  If only they were asked.

Remember, these clients are talking to everyone about their experience.  If you’re delivering excellent service and results, they would be happy to refer you, if only you would ask.  The key to creating Dipping Bird referral recommendations is to ask for referral recommendations during the transaction, not after.

The Dipping Bird Referral Strategy Goes Like This

1.  Attract a paying customer – I know, duh.

2.  Make your compelling, persuasive presentation of services (listing or buyer’s representation presentation/consultation.)

3.  After you’re chosen and the listing/buyer agreements are signed, shake hands and exchange smiles.   Then, as you’re leaving, or at the end of your next conversation, pause, thank them again and in your own words share that you appreciate their trust and confidence and you’ll keep all your promises or they can fire you on the spot.  And that to make sure you’re staying on track and they’re pleased, from time to time you’re going to ask them how you’re doing.

Example: Thanks again for your confidence, I appreciate it.  Listen, if at any time you feel I’m not living up to my promises, you can fire me, no questions asked, no hard feelings, and no fees.  To make sure you’re happy with everything I’m doing and I’m on track.  I’m going to check in with you from time to time and ask you, straight up, how I’m doing and if you’re happy.

In addition to making this the best home selling experience you’ve ever had, I want to create an experience where, if a friend, neighbor, or coworker asked you how it’s going, I want my work performance to be at a level where you would say, “Man oh man, Ken Brand is awesome, he’s keeping all his promises and more.”  So, I’ll be checking with you, okay?

4.  The hard part:  Deliver. Crazy.  Audacious. On time.  As promised.

In steps 1-4 you’ve positioned yourself to conversationally ask for referrals and recommendations during the transaction.  This will be simple and natural, because you’ve set the stage for it.

Deliver strong, wait for their “Thank you,” and take these next steps.

5.  When your clients experience a positive event and say “Thank you,” for example, after progress reports, showing appointments, contract presentation, contract negotiations, or option period expirations, respond naturally and say something like, “Thanks for the compliment, you’re welcome!”

6.  Immediately follow this up with something like, It sounds like you’re pleased and things are going well?” and remind them of your earlier conversation (Step 3), then ask for a referral recommendation.

It might sound something like this:

Them: Thanks for the insert positive event, Ken.

Me:  Thanks for the compliment; you’re welcome.  I don’t know if you remember this or not, but when we first got started we were sitting at the kitchen table and I said that my goal was to create the best experience you’ve ever had?  I know we’re not done yet but it sounds like so far, things are on track and you’re happy?

Them:  Yes.

Me:  Great. Can I ask you this? If a friend or a neighbor needed some real estate help and asked you for a recommendation, do you think you’d be comfortable sharing my name?

Them: Sure, Ken, you’re doing a fine job.

Me:  Yea!  Thanks!  Rest assured, when you refer me to someone, I promise I’ll take great care of them, treat them like family, and make you look good for recommending me. So, let me ask you this. Of your friends at work/in the neighborhood/at the gym/etc. [pick one small group], who’s the next person to make a move?

7.  If they share a referral, congratulations.  If they don’t, no worries. Thank them and rock on.  Lather, rinse, and repeat Steps 5, 6, and 7 at every significant positive milestone that includes and concludes with their enthusiastic “Thank you for a job well done.  I imagine you might ask five or seven times during the transaction.

Does It Work?

Yes, it does! If you have clients, you do a fantastic job, and they say “Thank you,” then you have earned the privilege of asking for referral recommendations during the transaction.  Do it!

If you’re asking for referrals infrequently or awkwardly at closing — or worse, sometime after closing, you’re self-strangling your prosperity.  Stop doing that and do this Dipping Bird thing instead.

Follow Steps 1 – 3 and you will have natural and comfortable opportunities to ask for referral recommendations, conversationally and respectfully.

Follow Steps 4 – 7 and your delighted clients will be happy to refer their friends, family members, and coworkers.

Follow Steps 1 – 7 and you’ll Dipping Bird your way to perpetual referrals.

Let me share a word about scripts and preparation.  If you’re reluctant, skeptical, or become ill at the thought of memorizing and reciting scripts, I hear you.  I’m not advocating the use of my words; I’m sharing directionally-correct dialogues as examples.

While I don’t encourage or even use scripts per se, I do encourage you to study the directionally correct dialogue examples in this book, then create and rehearse your own directionally-correct dialogues (as I do).  I’m a believer in perfect practice and preparation using rehearsed, directionally-correct dialogues when appropriate.   The more familiar you are with what you’re going to say, the more persuasive, crisp, confident, and beneficial your conversation will be.

Making this slight shift in strategy is the easy part.  If you do this, you will position yourself to speak perpetual referrals into existence. The hard part is keeping your promises and delivering referral-worthy results. I know you can do both, especially since you’ve already read so much of this book already and have put so much of the advice you’ve received into place.


Thanks for reading.  If can be helpful, ping me – Ken Brand 932-797-1779.

How to Employ and Enjoy the Natural Law of Shared Favors. Everyone WINS – Yea!

How to Employ and Enjoy the Natural Law of Shared Favors – Chapter 21 from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha – How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred and rewarded.

“Nothing will work, unless you do.”  – Maya Angelou, Poet

Congratulations! People view you as an expert.

Hallelujah!  You know correct is happening.  You know, because people are picking up their phone, dialing your number, and asking you for expert answers and solutions to their burning questions and unsolved problems.

Questions Like:

What’s the deal with mortgage rates?  Should I refinance?

We’re sweatin’ like swine over here.  I need digits for an A/C dude, not some ex-convict; I need someone who knows what they’re doin’.  Someone who will drop whatever they’re workin’ on and haul ass over here to fix this broken piece of crap.

I’m getting hosed.  These bloodsuckers can’t get away with this.  I want to protest my property tax and slap-the-stupid out of city hall.  How do I do that?

A “For Sale” sign just went up down the street.  Can you tell me what they’re asking?

And other run-of-the-mill and quirky kinds of questions.  Questions that only a plugged-in, kick-ass real estate agent would know the answer to.  Which is why they call you.

Hallelujahs are in order.  All your sweaty Top of Mind Awareness work is paying off.  You’re not chasing, stalking, or selling anybody. People are calling you direct.  Beautiful.

What you do with this phone call is a turning point for you.  Will your response be mundane or mighty? Here’s what I mean.

The Mundane Exchange 

You’re sitting at your computer, busy fretting about your red river of advertising expenses.  You’re hoping your ads pay off, someday, somehow.   You murmur a silent prayer, Please, dear Lord, compel my expensive, limp ads to make my phone ring.

Gulp.  Your phone rings.  Wow.  You’re kinda creeped out, but excited.  A past client is calling to ask you those random kind of questions we talked about earlier.  You listen lazy, thinking to yourself, Damn, this isn’t the ad call I prayed for, these people won’t move for years.  This is a freaking interruption. 

You answer their question in a rush. They thank you. You thank them for calling.


You return to your fretting and the business of bleeding out, as you continue to chase complete strangers.


What just happened?  Nothing much.  And that’s the point.  The possibility for your success didn’t budge.  If that’s how you answer, you might as well not be in the business.  You’re blowing off extraordinary opportunities.

So, let’s imagine something mighty instead.

A More Mighty Exchange

Your phone rings.  It’s Jean, a past client.  Calling to ask a question.  You smile, straighten, and focus. 

Jean asks a question.  You listen loudly and ask follow-up-with-clarity questions. Before answering, you reinforce Jean’s wise decision to call YOU.  Everyone loves to be appreciated, so you give Jean a big verbal hug.  You say something like, “Thanks for calling, Jean. I know you could have called any number of other real estate agents — I appreciate you calling on me.”  Jean feels significant, and appreciated.  Cool!

You answer Jean’s question.  You chitchat.  You’re attentive and waiting for “it.”  You know “it’s” coming.

Predictably, “It” happens. Jean concludes with “Thank you.” At this precise moment you conjure up the win-win-win called The Natural Law of Shared Favors.  This natural law states that when one good person does another good person a favor, the good person receiving the favor wants to return the favor.  Isn’t this true with you?

If I were (and I usually do) keeping The Natural Law of Shared Favors in mind, here’s an example of what my conversation with Jean would sound like after we’ve chit-chatted, I’ve answered her question(s) and she concludes our conversation with (“it”): Thank you.

Jean: Thank you, Ken, I appreciate it.

Me:  You’re welcome, call me any time; I appreciate you thinking of me.  You know, Jean, before I let you go, I was wondering if you might do me favor?

Jean:  Sure.

Me:  Well, let me ask you a question. If one of your neighbors or a friend from work asked you for a real estate agent recommendation, would you be comfortable sharing my name?  That would be so appreciated.

Jean:  Of course, I’d be happy to.

MeThanks so much; that means a lot to me. I promise, when you refer me to someone, I’ll treat them like family and take great care of them.  Who’s the next person in your neighborhood who’s gonna be making a move?

It’s that simple.  Your words may be different, our results the same.  We were asked a favor, we delivered a favor, and we provided an opportunity for a return favor.

Can you see how during the course of a year, by moving from the mundane to the mighty, you could uncover hidden opportunities?  This doesn’t require any extra work, or money.  All you have to do is rearrange words when you help people and answer questions.

Remember to amplify the remarkable you.  Mail a handwritten note with two of your business cards. Do it immediately. Please.

Wanna weave even more ridiculous and mighty magic?  Of course you do.  Why not, right?  We’re on a roll, man!

To Supersize Your Win-Win-Win and Mighty Magic, Do This

You know the service provider person you just referred — the roofer, the painter, the decorator, the accountant — they appreciate referrals as much as you do.  It’s the lifeblood of their business too.  Here’s what supersizing success looks and reads like.

After I hang up from talking with Jean, I call them (the service provider I recommended to Jean).  I share that I’ve just got off the phone from referring them to Jean Wycroft and they should expect a call from her.  I impress upon them how important Jean is to me and that I trust they will do a magnificent job for her.  I instruct them not to contact Jean directly, but to expect her call. I tell them that I want to know how the conversation went and what happened, and to call me after they hear from her.  I wish them luck in winning the business.         Then I wait for “it.”  When I hear them say, “Thank you,”  I ask for a return favor.

Them:  Thanks for the referral, Ken.

Me:  You’re welcome — I know you’ll do a great job. It’s my pleasure.  Hey, can I ask you a quick question?  It’s sort of semi-personal.

Them:  Ummm, sure.  What is it?

Me:  Well, John, in your day-to-day business you’re in contact with a lot of people.  I know people trust your work and your opinion. I was wondering, if someone asked you for the name of a trustworthy real estate agent, whose name would you share?

I’ve asked a direct, on purpose, I’m not pussy-footing around question.  I quietly wait for their answer.  It might be natural to feel a little pushy asking this question; it sort of puts this person on the spot.  Yeah, it sort of does, but in this case, I’m referring this person profitable business opportunities, so I’m being bold about asking for return referrals.  Bashful real estate agents starve, bold real estate agents thrive.

Their answer can go two ways.

Way One

Them:  Well Ken, you know my wife’s brother’s uncle’s second cousin is our family real estate agent.  My wife would kill me if I didn’t recommend her.  I hope you understand?

Me:  No worries at all.  I know we all appreciate loyalty, so I respect that.  If you or anyone else ever needs a second opinion, or I can help with anything, I’d be happy to do it.  Okay then, let me know when you hear from Jean, and how it went.

In this case, I don’t resist or insist. I listen and courteously position myself for future referrals should anything go wrong or their distant relative exits the business.

 Way Two

Them:  Well, Ken, I’d recommend you of course.

Me: Thanks so much; that means a lot to me. I promise, when you refer me to someone, I’ll treat them like family and take great care of them.  Who’s the next person you know who is making a move?

As always, when I’m sharing my directionally correct dialogues, your words may be different but our winning results will be the same.  In this case, like many of the others, we aren’t chasing strangers, we aren’t annoying friends, we aren’t buying ads or stalking people, we’re taking an everyday situation and instead of mundaneing our way through the motions, we’re attentive, engaging, and speaking our way to success.

Oh, and don’t forget to mail Jean and John a handwritten note, inserting two business cards.


Cheers and thanks for reading.  If you’re interested in buying the book, CLICK HERE and you’ll be whisked to the Amazon.com book page.  It’s available in Kindle/eBook and print format.

You’re too busy to be screwing around! Simplify your success with this Fix-It or Fire-It strategy

How to Simplify Success: The Fix-It or Fire-It Method

Chapter 20 from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha – How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred and rewarded.

“Whatever is happening to YOU now, YOU either created it, YOU allow it or YOU promote it.”  ~Unknown

Reread the above quote.  It’s the naked truth and reality for 97% of what happens to us in our real estate careers.  Success, challenges, and setbacks alike, we’re personally responsible.

Setting Things Right Is Simple

When we’re unhappy with the results we’re producing, we can take personal responsibility and reevaluate what, where, and how we do things, and who we’re doing them with.  Then we can employ The Fix-It or Fire-It Method.

The Fix-It or Fire-It Method

Your Current Listing Inventory Is Not Selling? Fix-It or Fire-It

To position your listings to sell, there are only three things you can tweak:

1.)  How attractively the property shows.

2.)   The competitive pricing position.

3.)   The marketing (advertising, broadcast, and promotion).

Evaluate these three factors, then fix or fire like so…

1.  Fix how the property shows compared to its competition.  Recommend appropriate interior and exterior refreshing, remerchandising, and restaging.  If the sellers won’t help themselves, fire them.

2.  Fix the competitive pricing position of your listing.  Present a detailed, in-the-present, pricing market analysis. If the sellers are unable to take logical action and won’t help themselves, fire them and go get some new salable listings.

3.  Fix the competiveness, persuasiveness, and effectiveness of your property promotion, marketing, and advertising.  Review copywriting, broadcast, photo, and presentation quality. If you are unwilling, or unable to compete and deliver as promised, do yourself and your sellers a favor; release them and fire yourself.

Current Buyer Prospects Not Buying?  Fix-It or Fire-It

Selling is very simple.  When a qualified and motivated buyer finds a property that fits their needs, they buy it.  Evaluate these three things, then fix or fire.

1.  Re-qualify your prospects for urgency, motivation, and ability.  If your buyer prospects can’t or don’t need to buy, fire them firmly and gently.  Don’t cut your ties or burn your bridges; stay in touch and nurture the relationship.  When and if their circumstances improve, you’ll be positioned to help them. Use the The Three-People Principle as your guide.

2.  Re-examine what you think your prospects are looking for.  Re-question and re-confirm your understanding of their desired amenities, benefits, location, and other important decision-making factors. If you’re unwilling to take the time to understand their needs and desires, fire yourself and refer them to a colleague.

3.  If you believe your prospects are motivated and financially qualified and you feel you understand what they want–and you’ve shown it to them—and they still aren’t buying, uncover the unspoken barrier: resistance, fear, or obstacle.  If you can’t figure it out and fix-it, fire yourself, and refer them to a trusted colleague.

Prospecting Activities Attract Phony-Balonies or the Sound of Crickets?  Fix-It or Fire-It

1.  Examine all your print and direct mail advertising.  How much money are you spending?  Is it paying for itself, plus a profit?  If it’s not, fire-it and redirect your money.

2.  Where are you advertising?  How often?  Who’s your target?  What’s your message and is it focused and attractive?  How many closed transactions has it generated in the last six months?

If it’s not profitable, fix something about it (the message, the medium, the frequency, the quality), then reevaluate in thirty days.  If it’s still not attracting prospects, fire-it.  Seriously, if it’s not profitable, STOP.

Is Your Leader Really a Loser?  Fix-It or Fire-It

Assuming you are committed, dedicated, and motivated, does your leader provide you with the intellectual, emotional, technological support, and leadership required to thrive?  If not, attempt to fix their shortcomings and talk to them about meeting your needs.  If they are unwilling to adapt, fire them and partner with a better leader.

If you feel you’re working with a bona-fide leader but your success is sketchy, examine your commitment, motivation, strategy, and execution. Then fix your future by making the required changes in your behavior, strategy, action, and activity.  If you’re unwilling to adapt, do your leader, yourself, and your occasional clients a favor: fire yourself.

Do Vendors Make You Look Magnificent and Send Referrals? Fix-It or Fire It

Recommending competent lenders, title companies, painters, plumbers, baby sitters, roofers, and service providers is what our clients expect us to do.  If the vendors we recommend aren’t reliable, courteous, professional, and a source of return referral recommendations, talk to them about your service requirements and your expectation of reciprocal referral recommendations.

If they are unwilling or unable to perform, bang-bang.  Next.

Are You Hugging-it-out with Friends or Slugging-it-out with Frenemies?  Fix-It or Fire-It

To have friends, you must be a friend.  If you are and they aren’t, talk to them about your how you two can fix your relationship.  If they are unwilling to be a friend, fire them.

If your friends are Debbie Downers, gossipy backstabbers, or two-faced, fire them.

If you’re a David Downer, gossipy backstabber, or two-faced, fix yourself.

Hang and hug-it-out with positive, supportive, bright people.  If you’re not, begin nurturing new positive and supportive relationships.

Our Shiny Future

As Oprah Winfrey is credited with saying, “We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.”  I’ve shared six areas where immediate action will yield immediate results.  Your listings will sell faster, marketing dollars will work harder, you’ll leverage your time with qualified buyers and sellers, you’ll enjoy the benefits of competent leadership, and the warmth of true-blue friends will turn your life richer.

I guess the obvious question is, “When do we start?”


Thanks for reading.  If you’d like to own the book you can CLICK HERE and you’ll be whisked to the Amazon.com book page.

How not to FLUB UP future referrals

How Not to Flub Future Referrals and Recommendations – Chapter 19 from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha – How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred and rewarded.

“You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.”   – M. Kathleen Case

It’s why we do all the bone-crushing, attitude-straining, heartfelt work.  

We work to create and earn confidence and trust.  When we succeed, people we know refer people they know to us.  Sweet success, right?

Sort of.

What I mean is, it’s epic to earn a referral recommendation, but we need to ensure that in our rush to help and deliver, we don’t flub our future by forgetting to show appreciation to the people who refer us. If we handle our referral business smartly, behaving in ways that reinforce the free-flow of future referrals, we can turn a singular golden referral opportunity into a perpetually producing referral gold mine.

In a moment we’re going to check out how to do just that. But first, let’s take a look at how future referrals/recommendations are flubbed:

Riley Foster, a motivated and qualified civilian calls Lois Lane the real estate agent, referred by Robyn, a mutual and trusted friend. “Hi Lois, my name is Riley Foster. We don’t know each other, but our mutual friend Robyn Brand referred me to you.  She said you were a great real estate agent, and I should talk to you about selling my house and buying a new one.”

Lois grips the phone tighter, goes giddy and does a happy dance.  Woo-whoooo, sweet Jiminy Cricket.   Life is grand, Lois takes a lay down listing and is set to sell Riley something new too.  Amen.

Lois goes right to work, hyper-focused on doing a proud job.  In all the excitement, Lois does not immediately call the friend who referred this golden opportunity.   In fact, Lois is so busy, and focused on doing a great job, that she neglects to touch base with her referring friend Robyn—until after the closing.

The scenario I just shared doesn’t sound bad — in fact it sounds normal, and a late thank you is better than no follow-up or thank you at all. But here’s the problem.  During the transaction, Lois doesn’t keep her referring friend informed.  By keeping silent, Lois keeps her deep appreciation and success a secret.  When our cheerleader friends don’t feel appreciated and acknowledged for referring us business, the likelihood of receiving future referrals is diminished.

Thankfully, these flubs can be fixed.  Earning a free-flow of future qualified referrals is fun, free, and easy.  Instead of thanking your referring friends after everything is done, try this.

How Future Referrals/Recommendations Are Reinforced, Rewarded, and Assured

Let’s take a logical look at how we can foster the free flow of future referrals.

We can begin by remembering we’re in the people business, which means we are in the relationship business.  As humans, we deepen our relationships by fulfilling our natural desires for feelings of significance, and a sense of certainty. When we receive the gift of referral, it’s important to acknowledge and appreciate the generosity of gift-giver.

Also, we need to keep in mind that when people make a referral/recommendation, they are putting their reputation and social capital on the line. It’s important to thank them for placing their confidence in us, and assure them we will do a great job and make them look like a hero for recommending us.

To Foster Repeat Referrals, Do These Two Simple Things:

  1. Gush sincere appreciation.  Reinforce their wise decision to refer you by making a promise.  Promise that you will make them look good, smart, and cool for referring and recommending you.  Keep your promise (duh).
  1. Tell them you’ll keep them in the loop, and do it.  Share appropriate progress and successes throughout the transaction (of course, don’t reveal any confidential information or compromise your fiduciary responsibilities).  Doing this will please the referrer, plus, because you are having In-Person, On-Purpose conversations with the very people who are sending you referrals, doing this will also position you to receive additional recommendations.

Showing your appreciation and keeping the friends who refer you business in the know is wise on many levels, don’t you think?  Isn’t this what you’d appreciate?  Amen again.

Digital Referrals, Recommendations, and Endorsements

It’s a new social media era.  Remember, when someone Facebook “likes,” “shares,” or “comments”; re-Tweets, tags, and/or otherwise shares your digital stuff, thank them and when possible, return the favor.

What Next?

From now on, as you receive referrals, show your appreciation, deliver remarkable service, and keep your referring friends informed.  They’ll love you for it, and share more referrals. Right now, if you’re working with clients who were referred to you, and you haven’t showered your referring friend with appreciation, reconnect, and come-correct


Thanks for reading.  If I can be helpful, ping me – Ken Brand 832-797-1779

PS.  If you’d like to buy the book CLICK HERE and you’ll be whisked directly to the Amazon.com book page.  It’s available in eBook/Kindle and print format.